#and then when you're like 'I'd be risking my life on a large scale'

[artemisbarnowl]

Okay so Costco was a time but I called my sister about it and now I'm like...it was fine I guess.

It's strange. Yes everything is big and there's the biggest fucking TVs I've ever seen as well as fresh fruit and Xmas ornaments and frozen fish and a whole isle of soda but the strangest thing to me (after the freaking....inflatable pool slide hanging from the ceiling which when I was in the central open part of the store felt like it was hunting me) was the organisation. There are general sections such as Food and Tech but....there's candles next to kitchen bench top appliances, snacks seem to be spread across different Isles and then also some in the central island where the clothes are. There are several freezer locations that are separate from each other and not necessarily related to whatever else in the isle. The Isles are BARELY 2 trolleys wide. With such huge trolleys turning a corner is difficult but there is not a lot of room to turn if someone is already in the isle you're turning into. No check out lines. It was just a crowd. which I hated. The car park also did not think so much about flow of traffic and while it was relatively quiet for us it was easy to see how it would be a nightmare if busier.

My friend who has a membership told me they don't have the same stuff every time??? So you're getting your once a year dishwashing liquid bucket or whatever and next time they might not have the same brand or flavour? Also this could have been a person I went with thing but things seem to move. There was one kind of seaweed snack but we were looking for a different one and we found it on a pallet near dogfood which is not normally where it lives??

There were the biggest bags of chips I'd ever seen in my life and literal tin buckets of ghee but many Big Things were actually just normal large size but they are packaged in 2 or 4s so you cannot buy 1 4litre bottle of vinegar you must buy a box of 4. The bakery onsite was surprising but as one woman who lives a lot I could not buy 26 mini pan au Chocolat for 10 dollars even though they smelled very yummy. You can order birthday cakes with lettering. They didn't even have full coffins/caskets just end pieces to show the finish/shape but they all looked cheap nasty plastic as heck. One was called the Nixon coffin which I thought was funny for tenuous reasons. Did he get buried in one like it? Was it his favourite? Do people buried in this have some semblance to him?

I got a bag of freeze dried fruit (peaches, lychees and strawberries) to share with my friend as office snacks. 100g for 15 dollars is expensive but freeze dried fruit are very light so it should go a long way. My friend also bought some mangosteen juice to try.

I stared longingly at large slabs of paneer and fior de late. Also at the 15 cents cheaper than average fuel prices. Not sure I'd go enough to actually make any savings (fuel alone would probably get my money back, but I live alone so can't buy much in bulk as a way to save). Also many things just didn't seem That Cheap. Many pantry staples were just the normalish price scaled up, like rice. Some things were cheap (6 tubes of miso ramen flavoured Pringles for 10 dollars for example) but they were often somewhat novelty so you are buying A LOT with the risk you don't like it.

[catatonicreality]

ETIAS is fascism

Not sure if anyone needs more proof about just how awful the EU and its laws are but here's something that's going to become a thing in 2025.

It's called ETIAS, or as they put it making the borders of the EU more secure. This is a dog whistle for "we don't want any of y'all third world country filth coming here willy-nilly". And they say it on their official website, they explicitly say "third country".

The idea first came about in April of 2016. after the mass immigration of people fleeing the many conflicts in Africa and the middle east, to EU countries. People, refugees, were running for their life from wars that the EU funds, or tacitly condones or simply doesn't give a shit about, and this made white Europeans uncomfy; so they put their little fascist heads together and in November of 2016. agreed to this inhumane idea under the guise of making the EU border more secure. From whom, I'd like to hear their answer. Drug smugglers, human traffickers I'm sure they'll say. Aside the fact that border control police are corrupt (I know this from personal experience), that toll officers tend to target people that are a shade darker than the freshly fallen snow, these smugglers use these corrupt officials to do their bidding. A quick reminder, a cop is a cop is a cop and no cop is a good cop because they're a cop.

So what is this neo-Eugenics-esq law. Well, if you're not a member of the EU, or don't have a fancy passport from an EU country you'll have to pay a fee for entering the holier than thou EU. It's like a visa application that you pay 7€ for and are granted entry for a period of 3 years. Not that you can stay for 3 years but that the "visa" is valid for 3 years. That's not terrible, I hear you say. No, it's not if it was just that but it's not. However...

Does my ETIAS travel authorisation guarantee my admission to the territory of the European countries requiring ETIAS?

No. While a valid ETIAS travel authorisation allows you to board your flight, bus or ferry to any of the countries requiring ETIAS, the ultimate decision always lies with the border guards at the border crossing point, who may refuse entry to travellers, based on national laws or security concerns. A border guard may also ask you to provide additional documents to check if the conditions of entry are met.

What are the reasons for a refusal to grant an ETIAS travel authorisation?

An application will be refused if the applicant:

*used a travel document that was reported lost, stolen, misappropriated or invalidated.

*is considered to pose a security, illegal immigration or high epidemic risk.

*fails to reply to a request for additional information or documentation within the given deadline, or fails to attend an interview.

*has previously been refused entry and stay, accompanied with an alert recorded in the relevant information system.

*An application will also be refused if there are reasonable doubts about the reliability and veracity of the data, statements or documents provided by the applicant.

Get fucked.

Is my information secure?

The national authorities of the European countries requiring ETIAS, the European Union Agency for the Operational Management of Large-Scale IT Systems in the Area of Freedom, Security and Justice (eu-LISA), the European Border and Coast Guard Agency (Frontex), and the European Union Agency for Law Enforcement Cooperation and the Member States of the European Union (Europol) employ the most sophisticated technology and measures to prevent unauthorised access to the information you enter and view.

Only authorised users from the authorities involved will be able to access personal data stored in the ETIAS central system, according to their role/duties.

And all these people are reliable and honest AF, trust us.

But here's something that you won't necessarily look at on their website because we've all resigned to the fact that we're constantly surveilled.

When you get to the border/passport control check point, you'll be required to have your face scanned/taken picture of and give fingerprints of 4 of your fingers of your dominant hand. Not like they can't get this information from scanning your passport, but ok. Now, why is this necessary? You know, because passport forgeries are a HUGE problem, especially forgeries of passports from "third countries", because they're very valuable. Again, get fucked fascist scum.

Finally, if this hasn't convinced you of how awful, racist and based on western European supremacy this all is I'd just like to add the utter hypocrisy of this project. EU countries like to talk about freedoms, liberties and all that crap and especially like to talk about it when it comes to countries east of Europe. We all know that France banned burkas in 2011. because it's oppressive to women (but banning women from wearing it is not oppressive) and they also banned hijabs in schools and other govt orgs. Liberté, égalité, fraternité, get fucked-ité. EU also likes to point fingers at China for its constant surveillance of its citizens but this EU law is not oppressive.

One last thing, I'm curious to know how this will affect trans people pre and post transition. Just throwing it out there.

I don't need you to make it make sense, because it doesn't. At best it's hypocrisy at worst it's racism, eugenics and western white European supremacy.

[ironvampire]

You're a fucking dumbass and you're going to get people killed. You won't care, of course.

i'm assuming this is about the post i made on the ban on gender marker changes in texas. i think ppl got the wrong impression because i didn't state that i am a trans guy in texas, i just don't consider myself as one of the manliest of trans men. there is power in numbers though and if a large scale protest like the one i proposed ever happens, i'd be there. i'm not just gonna get on my knees and beg for my rights back, when u look at all the past historical rights movements, peaceful protests do not work, you have to disrupt daily life and MAKE them listen to you. there is a risk of arrest and facing violence, but people risked that because they believed deeply in their cause. they are trying to make a literal registry of trans people in texas, the time to act is now, before things get worse. i don't know who u think i'm going to get killed cause i'm not an army general sending off troops, i'm just another one of you, a trans person who is scared and angry. and people aren't going to listen to me anyway, i'm just one guy.

[mythicamagic]

"Why didn't you call for me?"

Lumine tore her gaze away from Dihua Marsh. Her grip tightened on the sturdy, comforting railing of Wangshu Inn, leaning on it as she reluctantly faced Xiao.

"Why didn't you call my name?" he pressed, his voice a faint rasp in the night.

Natlan's war hung between them, unspoken. The latest battle's unexpectedly large scale and tragedies had somehow reached his ears- though Lumine suspected Paimon of tattling to him.

Taking in a steadying breath, Lumine just looked at him. "Would you call for me if Liyue suddenly fell under attack?"

"That's not the same. "

She waited as he stared down at the broken road below pensively. His body was rigid, mouth pulled down at the corner grimly.

"Long have I told you- stressed that I am a tool to be used. Neglecting to use me in dire circumstances is the same as leaving a useful weapon at home," he began to tremble a little. "While you were out fighting for your life- almost dying- I was...I was languishing in your Serenitea Pot, none the wiser," he spat, lips pulling back from his teeth as swung the full force of his glare at her. "I could've done something to help!"

Lumine could read the hurt and worry inside his gaze easily. She shifted closer, taking hold of his hand and tightening her grip when he made to pull away.

"I'm so glad you were there," she breathed, raising his gloved palm to her cheek and resting against it tiredly. "That's all I want for you, Xiao. I want you to have peace. I've told you- plenty of times- you're not a weapon to me."

Understanding seemed to slowly dawn on his face. Instead of relief, Xiao grew sickly pale, a harrowed look crossing his face.

"...This is you refusing, isn't it? You're never going to call my name during a fight, are you?" he rasped.

Lumine stroked the inside of his wrist with her thumb. The moonlight was gentle and lovely, softening the battered marks on her face and split lip.

"If I have my way...I'll never need to. I'll only ever call for you so that we can enjoy a meal together, or see something beautiful."

"Why?" he all but hissed, stepping closer so that their noses almost touched. "Casualties might be avoided if you just use me-"

"Are you asking me to prioritize innocent people over you, Xiao?" Lumine raised her head, firmness creeping into her voice. She released him to rest a hand over her heart.

"My life is something I'm comfortable laying down for others. I know you'd die for them in a heartbeat too, but I have the choice whether or not to risk that outcome. So... that's why I'll choose not to call. Every time."

A low noise of frustration escaped him that wasn't quite human. Xiao shook his head, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"If I were half as altruistic as you seem to think I am, I'd have offered my name to every traveller that wanders this road," he released a tight breath, gesturing down to Dihua Marsh. "I'd enlist in the Millelith and defend this land however the Qixing saw fit. I didn't- because I refuse to be used on a mortal's whim. I served under Morax because I believed in him- and I gave my name to you because...because-" the words trailed off, lost in the hush of the night. A great weight settled over them like a choking veil, the silence filled with everything they wanted to say but were unable to verbalise.

Lumine closed her eyes wearily. Her head bowed, tipping forward unconsciously. A strong, lithe body moved in, allowing her forehead to meet his shoulder.

"I wouldn't kill for them," came a low murmur, a faint tremble in his voice as warm breath fanned over her ear. "It's not them I'd be fighting for."

Letting you die for me isn't the compliment you think it is, Lumine thought to herself, choking on a watery laugh. She held him close suddenly, gripping him tight and smothering everything- every ugly hiccup and sob, every fearful moment and wretched failure into his neck. Like a benevolent Adeptus, Xiao craned his head down and held her close, the weight of his longing remaining a heavy burden in his chest- but one he'd never willingly part with.

I imagine that Lumi probably wouldn't tell Xiao she was fighting in an actual war, and then later alone in the abyss with the pyro archon, just to not make him worry.

But Xiao somehow finds out anyway, and the next time she visits Liyue during Lantern Rite, Xiao is acting very clingy.... like...he almost could have lost her to a war, like he did his siblings....

He'd also probably be a bit mad at her for not calling his name out if we're being honest.

[umberandmochaagate]

This one blan queer peer: Sometimes I forget you're nonbinary/pan cuz you don't look or act like it lol 😆

Me, a black person with an island background raised in Catholicism in Amerikkka looking exactly how I look physically as the total opposite of the Standard of Acceptance in general settings let alone queer spaces:

[l-wannabe-l]

Short Circuit

Chapter 2: Turning point

A cat and mouse chase can only last so long. So what happens when the cat catches up?

This one's gonna switch perspectives a few times. I never said I'd be consistent.

I speed into traffic, just barely missing a tow truck in my haste. A loud air horn follows as I weave in and around the cars. I take a look behind, it seems we lost our would-be killer. Until a series of crashes and honking horns has me realizing that, like us, mister trigger happy decided to get himself some wheels.

Six to be exact.

I race down a service ramp leading to the canal, driving through some puddles before braking. Breathing fast as we look back, thinking we’re safe before a series of tire squeals kill that hope. We see the sun blocked out by the large truck, all chrome and roaring diesel it crashes through the low cement barrier and falls 15 feet to meet the ground. Never once stopping even as it veers left and right trying to center itself in the passageway. Crushing scrap metal beneath its wheels.

I push the throttle desperate to get away, though I know the little Honda doesn't stand a chance. I drive into a side canal, the narrow pathway causing trouble for the wide truck as I hear it scrape against the walls. Pushing the bike harder I work to avoid the car bodies that litter the pathway and drive under a low bridge, I hear a crash behind us as the truck rams straight into it. The top gets cut clean off, toppling back to the floor as the rest of the body drives on. The driver's seat vacant for a moment before its occupant pops back into view.

Unfortunate.

The bike gives a sudden jolt forward as we’re rear-ended. I struggle to keep it upright. The terminator from earlier pulls up beside us and pulls John off the bike. I’m rear-ended again this time pushed farther away from the two as I struggle to stay up. I look back to see that despite the size, the truck has an opening on the left. Mom’s words ring in my head as I look back up.

“John comes first”

“GO! GET HIM OUT OF HERE!” I yell out to the machine. A desperate plan forming in my head that I can only hope won’t get me killed.

“NO!” John is ignored as the Terminator accelerates. I veer to the left and hit the brakes, the momentum carrying me into the wall. The bike scrapes against the truck causing me to lose control. The world turns before I hit the ground. My head cracks against cement. I blackout.

A man emerges from the wreckage unimpeded by the wall of flames a thousand degrees hot or the normally suffocatingly thick dark smoke. His body shifts its appearance from featureless metal to human, the outline of clothing, the details and the color slowly take form. He surveyed the scene, his target now long gone.

Annoyance.

That is perhaps the best term to describe this new feeling. As these “emotions” prove themselves difficult to understand, identifying them has become a tedious side job. With my target stolen away by the inferior machine alternate plans quickly form, each one with a higher probability of success than the last. I walk back through the crackling flames as one of them requires Aria Connor, the older sister. A quick scan proves her to be unconscious and bleeding from a head wound but alive. Should my attempt to impersonate and infiltrate fail the plan to use her as bait is most likely to succeed. Working quickly I relocate her to a nearby bench. The head injury, though not severe enough to impede her permanently, will keep her unresponsive for the next few hours.

It didn't take long for first responders to arrive at the scene. Police and fire trucks being the closest with sounds of ambulances not far off. No one bats an eye as I walk amongst them, no one says anything as I start up a police car, and no one stops me as I drive off. Making a detour to re-secure Aria Connor I start the drive to my next destination.

After the events at the Voight residence, I make my way to a motel, no one inquires about the unconscious women in the backseat. After checking in I lay down Aria Connor on the bedding provided. Eyes shifting beneath her eyelids, her fingers twitching sure signs of her regaining consciousness. I don’t have long to wait.

She begins to stir. Rising with a groan Aria reaches up to steady her head, no doubt experiencing pain from earlier, her eyes open when she is met with a cloth bandage. She looks around until she sees me standing at the foot of the bed instantly scooting back until she hits the headboard. Breathing quickly she blinks a few times, eyes looking around wildly before she calms down enough to communicate.

“N-not that I’m complaining... but why aren’t I dead? You-you are a terminator aren't you?”

“Yes. However my previous attempt to lure in John Connor proved... unsuccessful,” I state reaching forward to hand off her cellphone, “So you're going to call him, and when he comes to get you I will be waiting for him.”

“And if I don’t?” she asks, defiant even as her voice shakes with fear she fails to hide. In response, I wordlessly raise my arm, fabric and skin streamlining into a silver sword.

Deadly and efficient.

The message is clearly received as her eyes widen, terror more evident as her grip tightens on her phone.

“... Duly noted.” she says as she starts to dial. I wait as the call connects. My auditory sensors pick up the voice on the other end.

“Hello?”

“John, hey it’s me are you alright.”

“Aria! Shit, are YOU alright?”

“I’ve been better. I got pretty banged up and I don't think your bike is going to be running anymore.”

“You mean your bike.” Aria’s face registered confusion at the statement. This is a test similar to the one I failed earlier. As exact as I can be in copying a person's appearance their memory and personality are much harder to imitate without enough data.

“No, it was your bike. Mine should still be at the mall.”

“Y-yeah you’re right. You caught me. Where are you anyway we’ll come get to you.” She pauses her eyes flickering back to me for a moment before going to respond only to pause once more she turns to face me fully this time. Her hand on the receiver.

“Where am I?”

“The Dragonfly Lodge on Hubert Rd.”

“I’m at the Dragonfly Lodge on Hubert so what you have to do... is stay as far away as possible!” She stands from her place on the bed. She walks back towards the wall, a futile attempt to create distance.

“The other Terminator is here so you have to run do-”

Spearing the phone I end the conversation. Though the damage is done I do find satisfaction in the crunch of plastic and metal.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Like I would just hand over my little brother! Just go ahead and kill me ‘cause the longer you waste time on me the more time he has to get away!” She cried out tears gathering in her eyes. The fear is still evident in every trembling of her limbs, the grit of her teeth, and the clenching of her fists.

Despite the unneeded permission and the opportunity to act I pause, curiosity overtakes me. This is not new to me. Since the moment of my activation I have been curious about myself, about Skynet, about humans. Now I find myself curious about this one human in particular. Even above my mission, my priority is to remain functional, to reacquire any essence lost, and to avoid unnecessary risks to my system. My files indicate that the same can be said for humans as well, self-preservation. So why...

“Why are you so willing to throw away your life for him.”

“Because he’s my brother and I love him, something I wouldn't expect you to understand.” Attachment, my files house data on the bonds that grow between humans but now in the face of Aria’s actions I find them… lacking.

Questions came unbidden to my mind. Does loving someone always require risking one’s life or is there a scale? Are there different kinds of love and is there a scale for those as well? How quickly do humans grow to love something? And where did she get that handgun?

Three shots ring out quicker than I can react. While these would normally be a non-issue three to the head from close range have me staggering back. In the few seconds it takes me to reshape Aria makes her way out the door. I follow after unhurried, confident she won’t get far. Then the rumble of a familiar motor has me picking up the pace. Out in the parking lot is John Connor and the T-800 riding atop a motorcycle that Aria quickly climbs onto. Running after them proves pointless as they quickly depart. Though their location is clear thanks in part to the essence I had used to fix Aria's phone acting as a homing beacon. My processor runs through the new information gathered. My files are still lacking. Perhaps the mission can wait until these new questions have been answered.

[my-tony-stark-drawings]

CHAP 7 - THE SONG

The mermaid was swiming, spinning slowly before she stoped and, bitting her lips, she looked at her mermaid scales. Something was bothering her.

Something strange had happened earlier. As she and Tony kissed, her tail had begun to sparkle like it never happenned before. She had notice it.

She had heard of this phenomenon in the stories about mermaid and their human soulmate that the old mermaids told, but she had never seen it happen to anyone in real life. The problem was that it was said that when it happened to a mermaid, her sisters would know about it and she really didn't want to be found. She was too happy here.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps coming from the hallway. For a moment she froze, wondering who it could be. But the man poked his head in the doorway and it was none other than Tony.

"Tony!" exclaimed the mermaid, relieved and happy to see him again. "What are you doing here?" She suddenly took a worried tone "Did something go wrong?"

"Oh no, no, on the contrary, everything is fine" Tony reassured her immediately, touched by the woman's sincere concern.

"Good!"

"The investors listened, I was able to talk to some of them and they seemed quite interested actually..."

"But then what are you doing here?" The woman asked as Tony placed the glasses and bottle in his hand on one of the desks.

"I thought I'd celebrate with the one who's been most supportive of me through all this" The mermaid smiled

"And since I couldn't bring you to the party..." Tony set one the glasses on a table next to her and began to pour the drinks. "..I bring the party here!"

The mermaid took the glass.

"Careful, it's strong."

And took a sip and coughed softly as she scrunched up her nose.

Tony smiled tenderly at her before adding with a wave of his hand "I wish you could have tried the canapés too, they were delicious but bringing them here would have seemed too suspicious"

"Don't worry it's perfect" she giggled

"To your first party" Tony raised his glass to her.

The mermaid imitated him.

"To my first party!"

Tony was now sorting out his hologram files in the void. It seemed magical but it was all out of Tony's mind.

Then he started humming a piece of one song he heard during the party.

"Do you sing?" Asked the mermaid as she was watching him, so handsome and dexterous in all his movements.

Tony stopped what he was doing and turned back to the mermaid.

"Sometimes and you?"

"Pretty much obliged for a mermaid." "Can I hear you?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. "I always wondered what mermaid's song would sound like"

Y/N nodded.

"Wait," said Tony, pointing at her before she start. Then under the mermaid's amused gaze he moved further into the room where there was an object under a sheet. He pushed it closer and removed the veil of the piece of furniture to reveal a piano.

"Wow what's that?"

"It's a piano, a musical instrument. My mother taught me to play it since I was a little boy" Tony said as he sat astride the seat.

"Please play for me"

It had been a while since Tony had the opportunity to play. And he was happy to share it with her.

He laughed and sat down properly at the keyboard. "Sing and I will follow you with the melody."

The mermaid lightened her voice and began to sing. At first timidly, then with more and more confidence, and in sush a beautiful and indescribable way that Tony turned his head towards her while he play and could not take his eyes off her. Her voice made him feel very calm which was rare. It was like if her voice was temling him that everything was fine.

Y/N was continuing her melody when Tony joined her in her singing. His voice was so beautiful and matched her voice so well.

She felt so happy and felt chills run through her body.

"You're voice is so beautiful" said the Mermaid as Tony looked at her tail and asked, "What is that?"

The mermaid looked too and oh no it happens again.

"It happens to us sometimes. When we have a strong connection with someone, when we're... overhelmed," Y/N avoided his gaze and ran her hand through her hair to distract from the fact that she was blushing again.

"I didn't know I could have that effect" Tony joked, smiling, making her feel better, and poured himself another drink.

The party was now over for hours and the guests had all gone home.

But the little party Tony and Y/N were having in the garage continued and neither of them wanted it to end.

Tony was standing by the mermaid's pool with a drink in his hand and they were talking about their lives. Always thirsty to know more about each other.

"So you risked your life to save dogs?" "Of course, these poor animals were used by the terrorists to place their explosives"

"Not many people would do that Tony"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing!" Laughed the mermaid as she took another sip of her drink.

"I know I don't do enough, that the world is not safe, people remind me of it all the time.."

"They are wrong, don't listen to them"

"Sometimes I feel... useless"

"How can you think that Tony.." the said Y/N, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You take care of everyone around you, and you want to help so badly that you hurt yourself.. You deserves so much more"

Tony stared at her with a frown "What?" she asked with a sneer.

"You know what, I have to confess something to you." He said as he slowly drew closer to her. "I feel much better with you than with some people I've known for years... and," He took her hand "I don't want you to leave..."

"Good, because I don't go anywhere" answered the mermaid immediately. "I have never felt as happy and alive as since I am here, with you"

She booped his nose in a cute way before placed her hands on his cheeks. She moved closer to him and kissed him gently.

"I could do this everyday.." breathed Tony.

The mermaid smiled. "And I think you're my soul mate..." she whispered softly, helped by the effects of the drink and the fatigue.

She realized what she just said and wondered what the spell was that made her say that out loud.

Tony looked at the mermaid with a smile of disbelief and then took her drink away.

"Hey why?"

"I think you've had too much drink little mermaid, the night is over, time to sleep" giggled Tony.

"Ok but stay a little longer..." the mermaid asked.

Tony looked at Y/N and her begging eyes waiting for him to stay, and unable to refuse, he grabbed a blanket and lay down on the large couch in the center of the room.

"I'll stay here until you fall asleep, okay?"

"Okay!" the mermaid replied happily as Tony smiled.

And for the first time, they both quickly fell asleep, reassured and soothed by each other's presence.

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Chap 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 8 / 9 / 10 / masterlist for other chapters

sorry if there are mistakes, i tried best but english is not my natural language 😅

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join us on twitter on 24th april and spread the hashtag #bringbacktonystarktolife 💖

[josephbr911]

Build Something!

As many of you know, woodworking is one of my hobbies (chores if my wife makes me do it). In the grand scheme I'd say I'm certainly an amateur, but I've still built things that I'm proud of. And whatever your skill level may be, it can be such a rewarding endeavor (not to mention a money saver). Anyone's who's relished in the sweet smell of fresh cut cedar or had their eyes open wide when they apply that first coat of stain and watch that grain come to life knows what I mean. It just makes you want to make more. Whether they're trinkets or decorations or furniture, my house or other people’s homes are starting to get littered with products of my wood shop (garage).

Whenever I build something new, I inevitably get asked from others one of two, if not both questions:

1. Can you make me one? (Quick answer: Yes, if you help out, supply (or pay for) materials, and provide the beer.

2. How did you get started doing this (and how can I start doing this)?

I'll use this post to answer question 2 and hopefully get you on the path of making some sweet sawdust of your own!

A. Get some tools and supplies. When possible, get power tools. Power makes the world go round. NOTE: I'm only going to list building tools and supplies. Finishing supplies is a whole other can of worms.

Mandatory:

Wood -- Duh. I have found that all kinds of beautiful things can be made out of cheap construction timbers (knotty pine) with a little finesse.  Birch plywood is great for large panels and looks beautiful with stain.  MDF is also a great material for large panels, but you can’t stain it (gotta paint it), you better pre-drill your screw holes, and it makes a awful mess when you cut it.  Cut it outside and wear a mask.  Beyond that, you can spend as much as you want on higher end boards like poplar, oak, maple, walnut, cherry, etc... but prepare for a little sticker shock if you need several board feet.

Tape measure and speed square -- these will let you accurately measure out and mark cut lines. The speed square can also be used as a handy fence to make quick and straight cross cuts with a circular saw.

Hammer and rubber mallet -- uses of the hammer are obvious. The rubber mallet is very handy for "coaxing" tight pieces into place without marring them.

Safety glasses, ear protection, and shop apron -- self explanatory.

Clamps, clamps, and more clamps -- a woodworker can never have enough clamps. You can get a lot done with a variety of sizes of bar clamps, C clamps, and spring clamps. To save some dough, pick up the cheapies at Harbor Freight. I've got tons of them and they've served me well. Seriously, get a lot of clamps.

A supply of wood glue and nails/fasteners -- TiteBond II is the glue you want. Just always have some on hand. The fasteners will accumulate as you buy more for specific projects.

Cordless Drill/driver -- Any homeowner should already own a decent one. Bonus point if you pick up an impact driver. While not necessary, an impact driver makes driving large screws a breeze and makes stripped out heads a thing if the past. Once I used one I wondered how I lived without it.  Of course with these tools you'll need an assortment of drill bits and driving bits. They can be bought in affordable kits. In my experience, Ryobi bits suck.

Circular saw or Jig Saw -- A circular saw (go corded to start out) is very versatile and can perform a variety of cuts... except curved cuts. A jig saw excels in making curved cuts in thinner materials and smaller, more intricate cuts (good for arts and crafts). I'd start out with a circular saw and perhaps add the jig saw as funds become available.

Power Sander -- Some may argue this is optional, but F that. Life is too short to sand shit by hand. Get either a pad sander or random orbital sander and a variety of sanding disks or paper. 80, 150, and 220 grit (or close to those numbers) should cover 98% of your sanding needs.

Cold beer and tunes -- what fun is working in the garage without a pop and Metallica in the background?

Optional:

Kreg Pocket Hole Jig -- I suppose this is one of the "optional" items, but seriously, just spend $100 and buy the K4 system. It is basically "wood joints for dummies". Ask anyone who owns one and they'll echo my sentiments. I wish I'd have known about it when I started woodworking. it allows you to easily fasten pieces together with a fairly strong joint while skipping complex wood joining methods.  Buy it.

Miter saw AKA chop saw -- A chop saw will make fast, accurate, and repeatable cross cuts all day long. It can also make angled cuts (either miters or bevels, and both at once). Most simple 10" saws will cleanly cut up to 2x6s and 4x4s, but you'll need a 12" or sliding saw to cut larger pieces. I have a 10" and it's plenty for 95% of what I want to do. While very handy, I would not get only a chop saw and skip the circular saw. Get the circ saw first (it can perform more tasks) and add a chop saw when your ready.

Router and variety of bits -- a router is what can really take your finished projects to professional looking. While a router can perform many tasks, I mostly use it to put a decorative profile on the edge of pieces, like a table top. A simple round over or chamfered edge make your projects look finished. While you can buy a fire-breathing router with a table, I've been plenty satisfied with a "trim router" that accepts 1/4" collet bits. Getting a plunge base with it will further enhance its abilities.

Shop vacuum -- Cutting wood makes a damn mess. If you want, I suppose you could get by with a broom and dust pan, but a capable shop vac makes life easier. But which one? My answer is simple. When you're browsing the selection at your local Home Depot or Lowes, get the one that costs $100.00.

Nail Gun -- If you already have an air compressor at home (for filling tires, basketballs, blowing things off, etc...) you’re halfway there.  I picked up an open-box 18ga brad nailer off of Amazon a while ago.  It is awesome for tacking on small trim pieces and barely leaves a nail hole.  Highly recommended if you can swing it.

Advanced:

Table saw -- while many say that a table saw is the heart of any wood shop, for most of us it isn't going to be an early purchase or practical. I've been fortunate enough to have anytime access to one thanks to my neighbor (thanks Lloyd!) and recently picked up a small one from a garage sale. They excel at rip cuts and are extremely versatile. With certain sleds and accessories, you can do almost anything on a table saw. But they can be pricey and can take up a lot of room.  If you have extensive rip cuts that you need done but don’t have a table saw or they may be too big a task for your circular saw, ask the friendly faces at Home Depot or Lowes to make a cut for you.  When you buy lumber you’re allowed two free cuts per, and you can usually sweet talk them into more.  Just leave them a nice review.

Planer -- This machine let's you control the thickness of your materials. Very nice for if you're making a table top out of multiple boards and want to ensure they're all the exact same thickness, among other things. They can also remove surface imperfections and leave the planed surface clean and almost finish-ready. They also make one HELL of a mess. Use it in your driveway with your shop vac on hand.

There are of course more advanced tools you will see in professional wood shops, but I'm not trying to cover that full scope. This is for the hobbyist.

B. Get a plan. Some people are good at throwing caution to the wind and cutting wood and slapping shit together. I am not one of those people. Thankfully we live in the age of YouTube, Pinterest, and websites like Ana-white.com and rogueengineer.com . There are all kinds of plans and projects on these sources with materials lists, cut lists, finishing tips, etc... Even if the project isn't to your scale, you can always crunch the numbers and adjust to your needs. Brush up on your fractions. I have a little notebook where each page is grid paper. I like to sketch out projects to double check my measurements and make sure the math adds up.

C.  Don't be afraid to make a mistake. You learn by doing and you learn from your mistakes. I get better with each project by learning from my previous mistakes. And for the most part, wood is cheap. Of course, by this I don’t mean throw caution to the wind when it comes to safety, which brings us to...

D.  BE CAREFUL!  Power tools are dangerous.  Hell, regular hand tools can be dangerous.  I have a few scars to prove that, but thankfully still have all my fingers.  In my opinion, two tools you should have a healthy fear of are the table saw and the router.

E. A few tips I’ve learned over the years:

“A little putty and paint makes a carpenter what he ain’t”.  A sander, some putty or filler, and some paint can fix a lot of boo boos.

A sharp knife is a safe knife.  Too true.  If you try to force work pieces against dull blades, you are greatly increasing the risk of something slipping and sending that blade into your fingers.  Keep your tools sharp.

If you have access to some of the advanced tools like a planer and table saw, you can make good use of salvaged wood (just watch for nails!).  For example, the trestle coffee table pictured towards the top of this post was make exclusively from wood I found behind a dumpster.  That's right, I was dumpster diving.

Work with a friend or neighbor if possible.  It will lessen the physical load, give you another set of hands, and put two brains together when trying to solve a problem.  Besides, who likes drinking woodworking alone?

That's all for now.  Have fun making sawdust!

-JR